fortune index all fortunes
| #1381 | | The wages of sin are high but you get your money's worth.
| | #1382 | | The wages of sin are unreported.
| | #1383 | | The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.
| | #1384 | | The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and looked forward to watching people's faces as he conducted them round the choice of bumperless, dented junkmobiles. To his lasting surprise there was an insatiable demand for them and he now has 26 thriving branches all over America. "People like driving round in the worst cars available," he said. Of course they do. "If a driver damages the side of a car and is honest enough to admit it, I tell him, `Forget it'. If they bring a car back late we overlook it. If they've had a crash and it doesn't involve another vehicle we might overlook that too." "Where's the ashtray?" asked on Los Angeles wife, as she settled into the ripped interior. "Honey," said her husband, "the whole car's the ash tray." -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
| | #1385 | | Their idea of an offer you can't refuse is an offer... and you'd better not refuse.
| | #1386 | | Them as has, gets.
| | #1387 | | Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he should not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of himself.
Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree. Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg. Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower. -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
| | #1388 | | Then there was the ScoutMaster who got a fantastic deal on this case of Tates brand compasses for his troup; only $1.25 each! Only problem was, when they got them out in the woods, the compasses were all stuck pointing to the "W" on the dial.
Moral: He who has a Tates is lost!
| | #1389 | | There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter. -- Bat Masterson
| | #1390 | | There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? -- Woody Allen
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