 |
| #4658 | | The Illiterati Programus Canto 1:
A program is a lot like a nose: Sometimes it runs, and
sometimes it blows.
|
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| #4659 | | The Kennedy Constant:
Don't get mad -- get even.
|
|
| #4660 | | The Law of the Letter:
The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the envelope.
|
|
| #4661 | | The Marines:
The few, the proud, the dead on the beach.
|
|
| #4662 | | The Marines:
The few, the proud, the not very bright.
|
|
| #4663 | | The Modelski Chain Rule:
(1) Look intently at the problem for several minutes. Scratch your
head at 20-30 second intervals. Try solving the problem on your
Hewlett-Packard.
(2) Failing this, look around at the class. Select a particularly
bright-looking individual.
(3) Procure a large chain.
(4) Walk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely
with the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.
Generally, he will. It may also be a good idea to give him a sound
thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
|
|
| #4664 | | The most dangerous organization in America today is:
(a) The KKK
(b) The American Nazi Party
(c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
|
|
| #4665 | | The Official MBA Handbook on business cards:
Avoid overly pretentious job titles such as "Lord of the Realm,
Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India" or "Director of Corporate
Planning."
|
|
| #4666 | | The Official MBA Handbook on doing company business on an airplane:
Do not work openly on top-secret company cost documents unless
you have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you
is blind, a rock musician on mood-ameliorating drugs, or the
unfortunate possessor of a forty-seventh chromosome.
|
|
| #4667 | | The Official MBA Handbook on the use of sunlamps:
Use a sunlamp only on weekends. That way, if the office wise guy
remarks on the sudden appearance of your tan, you can fabricate
some story about a sun-stroked weekend at some island Shangri-La
like Caneel Bay. Nothing is more transparent than leaving the
office at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun
god at 8:15 the next morning.
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