fortune index all fortunes
| #2041 | | Now she speaks rapidly. "Do you know *why* you want to program?" He shakes his head. He hasn't the faintest idea. "For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly. "The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman. "You take a program, born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution. You nurture the program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever stronger. Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here, a keystroke changed there." She sweeps her arm in a wide arc. "And other times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very *essence*, then beginning anew. But always building, creating, filling the program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances. Watching the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can stand alone -- proud, powerful, and perfect. This is the programmer's finest hour!" Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march. "This ... this is your canvas! your clay! Go forth and create a masterwork!"
| | #2042 | | "Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette." -- P. Buhr, Computer Science 354
| | #2043 | | "Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile." -- Karl Lehenbauer
| | #2044 | | Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up an old maid. Groucho: Well, bring her in and we'll wind her up together. Nurse Donna: Do you believe in computer dating? Groucho: Only if the computers really love each other.
| | #2045 | | Oh, so there you are!
| | #2046 | | Okay, Okay -- I admit it. You didn't change that program that worked just a little while ago; I inserted some random characters into the executable. Please forgive me. You can recover the file by typing in the code over again, since I also removed the source.
| | #2047 | | Old mail has arrived.
| | #2048 | | Old programmers never die, they just become managers.
| | #2049 | | Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.
| | #2050 | | Old programmers never die, they just hit account block limit.
| | | ... ... |
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